Log line: In this unique rom-com a Hollywood cinematographer is kidnapped by a sex crazed Helen of Troy, a math professor Chippendales dancer and the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet, to be their love slaves, using ambrosia to spiritually uplift humanity and create immortality and utopia. |
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Venus, the goddess of love, stands before the pyramids of
Egypt. On her iPhone, she gazes at images of the love of her
life, a famous Hollywood cinematographer named Vitalis.
Venus enters the pyramid's great
chamber and walks past the mummies and statues. At the altar
is a huge sarcophagus of Bastet, the Egyptian cat goddess.
Standing above a cat mummy, Venus
cuts ambrosia fruit and uses it to bring the cat mummy Bastet
to life. The reincarnated cat is overjoyed to be reunited with
Venus and they fly back to Los Angeles.
Back in Hollywood,
cinematographer Vitalis has been dating the most beautiful
stars in Hollywood, but still can't figure out why he keeps
getting dumped. So he visits his long time therapist Venus for
love advice, she being the most renowned intimacy coach in
Hollyweird.
But Venus's dating advice is
unconventional, to say the least. And much to his surprise,
after twenty years of counseling, Venus seduces Vitalis.
But now Vitalis is troubled,
since every year he grows older, while the immortal Venus is
youthful forever.
That night Venus, Vitalis and her cat Karma attend an awards ceremony at the Dolby Theater, where he is a nominee for best cinematography. But on the red carpet they encounter Vitalis's ex-girlfriend Felicity, a flamboyant Hollywood superstar who had dumped him just the previous week.
Ex-girlfriend Felicity is
accompanied by her new beau, Chippendales dancer (and calculus
professor) Dr. Transcendence Rabinowitz.
Felicity is a snarky, sexy
Hollywood hedonist and as she tries to seduce the beautiful
Venus, the two women throw witty, acerbic barbs at one
another.
Transcendence and Felicity then
kidnap Venus and Vitalis to be their love slaves, in
Felicity's Masonic temple "red room", across the street
from the Hollywood Boulevard awards ceremony.
As the temple
iron gates clang shut behind them, the now imprisoned Venus
and Vitalis realize that they aren't in Kansas anymore.
But Vitalis is overjoyed to be
reunited with his reincarnated childhood cat Bastet, who had been
secretly resurrected
in the Egyptian pyramid the previous week.
Love triangles ensue when Venus
and Vitalis are joined by a jail bait calculus student, her
geeky engineer boyfriend and a sexy Amazonian Navy SEAL
commander.
Inside the temple, the most
outrageous hijinks occur, water skiing cats, show tune
sing-alongs, Navy SEAL invasions and naked bungee jumping.
Vitalis is torn between his blossoming love for Venus, while still pining for his nymphomaniac ex-girlfriend Felicity.
Venus offers immortality to all
mankind, if Vitalis can prove that his love for her is true.
The meaning of love versus sex is
explored and with the help of ambrosia (and Broadway show
tunes), everyone lives happily ever after, forever.
In Hollywood, sex is a
religion.
Mood board
https://michaelkarp.net/venusMood.htm
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https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0439935/