How
Attraction Works For WOMEN
AN INTERESTING STORY (OR SO)...
There are two basic stories for how men and
women "start off" together, and two basic stories
for how men and women "end up".
Through all of time, I'm sure that men and
women have been playing out these stories... and
I'm sure that they'll continue to play them out
long into the future (that is, unless I have
something to say about it... and I do).
THE MEETING STORIES
Here's "Meeting Story #1":
Boy is attracted to girl. Unfortunately, boy
doesn't have a clue about how to make girl feel
ATTRACTION for him... so, instead he tries to
"pursue" girl by offering her dinners, gifts, and
flowers. Girl finds boy "nice", but there are no
"sparks", so she "just likes him as a friend".
Here's "Meeting Story #2":
Boy is attracted to girl. Fortunately for him,
boy understands ATTRACTION, and begins to
communicate with girl in a way that makes her feel
a powerful physical and emotional response for boy
that she can't control. The sparks fly, and boy
and girl "get together".
As I'm sure you know...
In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the
situation and both of them know it.
In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of
the situation.
THE STORIES OF HOW THINGS "END UP"
Let's assume that somehow, boy and girl
actually "get together". Things usually go one of
two ways after that...
Here's "End Up Story #1":
Boy and girl get together. Boy realizes that he
"REALLY likes" girl. Boy begins to act more and
more predictable. Boy starts to share "how he
feels" about girl too often. Boy becomes more and
more submissive. Girl loses that feeling of
ATTRACTION that she once had for boy and has no
way of explaining or understanding why. Girl
leaves boy and boy is left wondering what
happened.
Here's "End Up Story #2":
Boy and girl get together. Boy understands that
no matter how much he likes girl, he cannot let
himself become a Wussy who chases girl around
"sharing how he feels" and becomes boring. Boy
keeps the relationship interesting and he keeps
challenging girl. Boy stays in control of himself,
and by understanding his role as "The Man" in the
relationship, keeps girl interested and attracted
to him into the future.
And again, as I'm sure you know...
In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the
situation and both of them know it.
In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of
the situation.
If you look at your experience with women, I'm
sure you'll see that these short stories describe
MOST of the experiences you've had.
Now, of course there are slight twists and
variations, but the message is clear:
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW ATTRACTION WORKS FOR
WOMEN... AND HOW TO KEEP THE ATTRACTION GOING
WHEN YOU MEET A WOMAN YOU REALLY LIKE.
If you don't understand ATTRACTION and how it
works, then you are destined to keep playing out
these same stories for the rest of your life. It's
very unlikely that you'll stumble upon the "magic
solution" by accident...
ATTRACTION IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN THAN IT IS FOR
MEN - VERY DIFFERENT
The reality is that you CAN stop this negative
pattern if you WANT to.
But the key is:
1) Understanding how ATTRACTION works for WOMEN.
2) Understanding YOURSELF, so you don't ALLOW
yourself to act like a Wussy, become boring and
turn a good thing into a bad one... but instead
you do the RIGHT things to keep everything on the
right track.
If you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION
for you, then you can control your destiny with
women. If you DON'T know how to make a woman feel
ATTRACTION for you, then you cannot control your
destiny with women.
Read that paragraph again, and think about it
for a minute before you go on.
OK, so I mentioned that ATTRACTION is very
different for women than it is for men.
Different how?
What do I mean by that? ... Well, generally
speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION is a PROCESS...
not an "event". It happens over time, and it
becomes stronger or weaker depending upon how well
the man in the situation understands how it works.
For a man, ATTRACTION is much more of an
"event", meaning that it's either there or it
isn't. It really doesn't matter whether or not the
woman understands how it works. (As an interesting
side note, if a woman really knows how ATTRACTION
works, and her intention is to manipulate a man,
it usually works VERY well.)
So, think of a woman's "Attraction Mechanism"
more like a volume knob than a light switch.
It's like a fantastic, classy old car that
needs to warm up for a long time before you can
drive it... not like a brand new Honda that you
can start up and get right on the freeway with.
Here's a little secret about women and
ATTRACTION: If you'll just take a little longer in
every situation to AMPLIFY a woman's ATTRACTION,
she'll love you for it... and you'll experience
rewards that will make the extra time you spent
seem like the best investment of your entire life.
Here are a few specific tips for you for the
"Meeting Phase":
1) Start with something STRONG, not WEAK.
When a guy finds a girl interesting, he usually
turns into a ball of nervous mush. Then, he
usually makes the mistake of letting the woman
KNOW that he's nervous and weak.
Don't do it.
Do something STRONG.
Challenge her.
If she thinks that she's cool, make fun of her.
If she's smart, argue with her a little. If she's
doing something, tell her that you could do it
better.
When you PUSH a little, and show some BACKBONE,
she'll push back. That's your sign that the GAME
IS ON.
If you just chase after her like the 100 other
Wussies that have been bothering her this week,
you will just be another boring, predictable face
in the crowd.
2) Keep the TENSION UP.
One of my favorite concepts is "Never let the
line go slack".
This means that once you SPARK the "chemistry"
or "sexual tension", you need to KEEP IT UP.
Just because she starts doing things that hint
to you that she's interested, doesn't mean that
it's time to STOP. Quite the opposite, actually.
Turn UP the volume a little. It's working, so
do more!
3) Tease.
The word "tease" has a couple of meanings.
One of the meanings has to do with doing things
that are slightly annoying to get a response from
someone.
The other meaning is subtly different and has
to do with drawing out a response that you want by
doing certain things that indirectly trigger it.
Do both.
If you're about to kiss her, wait until your
lips are so close that you can almost feel her...
and then STOP. Pull away, and smile.
If you want to know how she feels about you,
say, "You LOVE me" in a condescending tone of
voice, and see how she responds. If she says "NO I
DON'T!" in an exaggerated, mocking way, then she
probably DOES "love" you.
Teasing is fantastic. Do more of it.
And here are a few tips for the "End Up" phase:
1) Never become BORING.
Being predictable and boring is a cardinal sin
when it comes to ATTRACTION.
Don't do either.
Of course, telling a man not to be predictable
is like telling a dog not to hump your leg.
Most guys are PAINFULLY predictable.
We LIKE being predictable, actually. I get it.
But, when it comes to a woman you enjoy, you'd
better figure out a way to STOP IT.
There's nothing that will kill the sparks
faster than her knowing what you're about to do or
say.
2) Don't hand over control.
Women like men who make decisions and take the
lead. Now, I'm not saying that women like men who
are overly controlling. What I am saying is that
women don't like guys who are always saying things
like, "I don't know, what do YOU want to do,
baby?".
Women don't want men that they can control, so
don't be one.
3) Respect yourself and keep your own interests.
When a guy meets a woman he likes, he often
wants to spend as much time as possible with her.
This is natural, of course.
But there's a big danger here as well.
If you put your life aside for a woman, you
will become less interesting to HER.
In the long run, it's MUCH better to keep your
friends, your interests, and your hobbies, and to
spend time doing the things you enjoy... WITHOUT
HER.
And I think it's VERY important to keep
improving yourself as a person, and continue to be
a guy that she can look up to and respect.
As soon as you start acting like she's going to
be around forever, she'll start feeling less and
less ATTRACTION for you.
THE BIGGER PICTURE
Now, as you read these examples, can you see
the bigger picture forming?
Can you see the deeper message?
The deeper message is that you need to
understand how ATTRACTION works for women and you
need to do those things that keep the ATTRACTION
BUILDING FOREVER.
Now, where does this all begin?
It begins with YOU.
And it begins with you learning how to control
yourself and your emotions. It begins with you
understanding the history of how and why
men and women become attracted to each other. It
begins with you learning the basics of how to use
subtle body language and communication to make
women feel ATTRACTION for you.
And what's the best way to get this "in depth"
education?
You need to get some of your "Inner Game"
issues handled, and you need to learn how to
really get control of your emotional life. If this
is you, then I recommend you check out my "Deep
Inner Game" program.
This program is jam-packed with tools and
techniques for fixing self image problems,
improving self-esteem, overcoming fear of women...
and everything in between.
This is the BOMB when it comes to working on
your Inner Game, and you can go watch some great
preview video clips here:
http://www.DoubleYourDating.net/e/10000/DeepInnerGame/
If you'd like to learn the "secret language of
Attraction", then I highly recommend that you get
your hands on a copy of my "Sexual Communication"
DVD program.
Inside this program I'll teach you all about a
"secret" language that has been used all around
you, all your life... you just never knew about
it.
I'll show you how to spark attraction, build
sexual tension and chemistry, and take things to
the next level... using powerful (but subtle) body
language cues and other techniques.
Discovering "Sexual Communication" was one of
the most important steps on my own journey to
success with women and dating, and I'd like you to
check out this program... so I can teach you what
I've learned.
All the details, plus some great previews are
here:
http://www.DoubleYourDating.net/e/10000/SexualCommunication/
If you're fascinated with the topic of
ATTRACTION, and you'd like to get an in-depth
education on it, then you need to go and download
my latest eBook "Attraction Isn't A Choice". You
can download it now and be reading it within a few
minutes. Download it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDating.net/e/10000/AttractionBook/
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story,
Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs
max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask
your question. I appreciate all of the "Your
stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how
well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is
that I DO need to hear all of the specifics...
because this helps other guys to see what's
working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success
Story" in the subject line of the email. I read
these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials
and tell me where you're from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com
...don't just hit "reply" to this email.
Thanks!
--------------------------------------------------
©2005 David DeAngelo Marketing Inc.